1-Up

Age: 41
Gender: M
Location: Charlottesville, VA

Joined: 13 years ago on 12/15/05
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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1-Up is currently piloting LEGENDARY PUNISHER with SolidSnakeEyes

LEGENDARY PUNISHER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Penis-Mounted Punch
• Groin-Mounted Chainsaw of Nothingness

DOSSIER: Likes to help friendly forces by upgrading their defensive power. As we all know historians will eventually celebrate the pilots for their role in Operation Secret Panty Raid, during which most of Mexico was destroyed in an effort to relieve boredom. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to general cleanliness.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by mongooses in the affluent suburbs of Tanzania. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 6 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several hours training his guts out in a filthy toy store. Each suprisingly filthy yeast infection was a step closer to the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Educated in a secret Buddhist temple where he studied martial arts, where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about him.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up failure despite infuriating Whoopi Goldberg. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot better at shit in general if he opened up his hearts. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.