Sans Sheriff

Age: 31
Gender: M
Location: Chicago, IL

Joined: 9 years ago on 02/28/06
Last Visit: 26 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 224 days from now

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Sans Sheriff is currently piloting MAJESTY DANGER with sami

MAJESTY DANGER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Elbow-Mounted Cutlass Volley
• Austistic Bash

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply helpful massages to basically anybody who asks, even during the heartbreak of high-speed lovemaking. Cannot be damaged by fire-based enemies. Frequently, other Jaeger pilots have heaped praise upon the pilots' general cleanliness. Everybody agrees: these pilots are fun-loving and live to piss all over some Kaiju brains.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and religion. Existence threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were fellated by an evil warlord. It was at the age of 19 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Decided to spend the next several hours fighting for survival in a filthy toy store. Each suprisingly filthy beat-down was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked his inner unicorn at Yale where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up affair despite annoying the shit out of his mother. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot worse at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.