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Designated Driver

Buster Machine No. 5739
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About Designated Driver

Age: 33
Gender: M
Location: Howard Beach, NY

Joined: 14 years ago on 03/20/06
Last Visit: 55 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 35 days from now

Public Photos
Contact InformationContact information, such as a Member's e-mail and instant messenger information, can only be viewed by other Members! If you're already a Member, use the login form on the left side of the screen, or click here to log in. If you're not a Member yet, why not join us and be a part of the fun?
Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 6304 times
Would You Hit It? Would Designated Driver?

[current user isn't logged in]

Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“hi im cheaper than uber and dont sell your data to the highest bidder”

What do you do for fun?

“think about making music and then realize i don't know shit, think about drawing and realize i cant”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“helpdesk ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“synth and vapor wave”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“magfest and blizzcon maybe dragon con”

Jaeger Assignment

Designated Driver is currently piloting HAWK WHIPPERSNAPPER with Kaoru27Umi

HAWK WHIPPERSNAPPER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Elbow-Mounted Whip
  • Elbow-Mounted Laser of Blood

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support civilians by improving their offensive power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Panty Raid, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient nuclear weapon to decisively end psoraisis. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding combat effectivness. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of encouragement and gin. Life didn't really change much when goldfish were seduced by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Reluctantly spent the next several years training his guts out in a secret abandoned rest stop. Each erotic day was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his parents expected from him.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite excessive body odor because of his immense determination.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent crowd-pleaser despite impregnating the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

Refusing to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he stopped being an asshole. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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