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Designated Driver

Buster Machine No. 5739
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About Designated Driver

Age: 27
Gender: M
Location: Thorofare, NJ

Joined: 8 years ago on 03/20/06
Last Visit: 3 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos
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  • You've viewed their Profile 4242 times
Would You Hit It? Would Designated Driver?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“160 days until my sub runs out. Deal with me until then.”

What do you do for fun?

“Piss people on here off.”

What's your dream job?

“The one that you don't have.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Whatever ones you don't like”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Whatever you hate.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Whatever ones you don't like”

Jaeger Assignment

Designated Driver is currently piloting HAWK WHIPPERSNAPPER with Kaoru27Umi

HAWK WHIPPERSNAPPER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Elbow-Mounted Whip
  • Elbow-Mounted Laser of Blood

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support civilians by improving their offensive power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Panty Raid, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient nuclear weapon to decisively end psoraisis. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding combat effectivness. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of encouragement and gin. Life didn't really change much when goldfish were seduced by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Reluctantly spent the next several years training his guts out in a secret abandoned rest stop. Each erotic day was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his parents expected from him.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite excessive body odor because of his immense determination.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent crowd-pleaser despite impregnating the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

Refusing to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he stopped being an asshole. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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