Designated Driver Buster Machine No. 5739
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About Designated Driver Age: 30 Gender: M Location: Howard Beach, NY Joined: 11 years ago on 03/20/06 Last Visit: 5 months ago Type: Gold Member Paid Member Privileges: None
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Tell Us About Yourself...
Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!
“Hi I'm cheaper than uber.”
What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.
Who Are You Looking For?
Which gender are you interested in?
“Guys or girls!”
Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff
What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?
“of monsters and men”
If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?
“ColossalCon. Only ColossalCon”
Designated Driver is currently piloting
HAWK WHIPPERSNAPPER with Kaoru27Umi
HAWK WHIPPERSNAPPER's special combat abilities are known to include:
Elbow-Mounted Whip Elbow-Mounted Laser of Blood
DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support civilians by improving their offensive power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Panty Raid, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient nuclear weapon to decisively end psoraisis. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding combat effectivness. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju children.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of encouragement and gin. Life didn't really change much when goldfish were seduced by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Reluctantly spent the next several years training his guts out in a secret abandoned rest stop. Each erotic day was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his parents expected from him.
Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite excessive body odor because of his immense determination. After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent crowd-pleaser despite impregnating the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes. Refusing to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and has no fucking idea what he's doing. "The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he stopped being an asshole. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!" Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations. Geek dating and social networking for awesome people. Sign Up. Join OtakuBooty! OtakuBooty is where smart, funny, sexy nerds meet. Creating an account is free. Full membership is $4/month or $15/year. Cheap! Press People. Need material? Cover OB for your site, blog, podcast, magazine, or what-have-you. More info » Want Your Stuff Reviewed By OB? Just send us your press releases and requests to review your products.