nekoninja

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 13 years ago on 03/30/06
Last Visit: 9 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 500 days from now

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nekoninja is currently piloting BLITZKRIEG DANGER with Mookinator

BLITZKRIEG DANGER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Penis-Mounted Shield
• Hornet's Strike

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply helpful tax advice to other Jaeger pilots, even during the heartbreak of desperate brawls. Cannot be damaged by sensitive enemies. As we all know that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Asshole when the pilots sacrificed countless children in order to save several terabytes of pornography. In the past, homeless men have complimented the pilots' lovemaking abilities. Everybody agrees: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to masturbation habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was an arms dealer. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 5 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Each suprisingly filthy day was a step toward the kind of shit that her heart yearned for.

Truly blossomed at Sweet Valley High where she studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a splendid triumph despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. Due to her actions, most of the city was saved and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

Refusing to get a clue, she dedicated herself to becoming even more of a badass and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"Listen up, rookie, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the life or death situation right in front of you. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.