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Buster Machine No. 5833
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About Kalis

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Neenah, WI

Joined: 14 years ago on 04/06/06
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 26 days from now

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 6883 times
Would You Hit It? Would Kalis?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm just a strange guy who wants to one day make video games. Currently working at an afterschool program. Google Video Star”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Browse the internet to unlock more terrible secrets. Look for work.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Unemployed college graduate desperately seaking employement, also after school program volunteer”

What's your dream job?

“Game Developer, being employed”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I have Sound making Hulk Hands, and He-Man's Sword of Power. Also, I tend to ramble and say illogical things.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“an awesome girl that will share my interests. Or, you know, cool people.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I'm experienced in this frustrating area”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Scryed, Bleach, Trigun, Hellsing, Samurai Champloo, Beck, Code Geass, Persona -trinity soul-”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Rock, Techno, Industrial...”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“watching anime, playing games, exploring Tartarus.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“ACen (hopefully)”

Into games? List your favorites!

“KoF, Soul Caliber 3, Castlevania, World of Warcraft, FF IV, FF VI, Chrono Trigger, Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Persona 3 FES.... okay too many for this”

Steam Nickname


XBox Live! Gamertag

“Brian Keljore”

Other Online Gaming Info

“Team Fortress 2 (pc)”

Jaeger Assignment

Kalis is currently piloting RAMBUNCTIOUS PASSION with Dixie Eats Brains

RAMBUNCTIOUS PASSION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Arm-Mounted Baseball Bat
  • Foot-Mounted Chainsaw

DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by multiplying their sensual capabilities. We can safely say that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Unstoppable Eruption when the pilots sacrificed many psychopaths in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. Everybody agrees: these pilots are fun-loving and like nothing better than to punch some Kaiju reproductive organs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of mom you wish you had. Father was the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well.. At an early age, showed no promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Each enchanting lesson was a step toward the sensitive touching that his heart yearned for.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite a painful recurring prolapse because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Following the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to the general's dogwalker by his commanding officer.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at everything if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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