sykospark

Age: 41
Gender: F
Location: , California

Joined: 13 years ago on 07/01/06
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 498 days from now

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sykospark is currently piloting BUTTERED ERECTION with StuntCock

BUTTERED ERECTION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Leopard's Headbutt Whirlwind
• Surreal Sword

DOSSIER: Job is to perform sporadic offense intended to destroy the Kaiju by pulverizing their children. During the Battle Of Sydney, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to fuck shit up while simultaneously displaying outstanding masturbation habits. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and like nothing better than to smash some Kaiju limbs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls. Father was a homeless man. Greatly devastated by the cyborg conversion of some shitty cat because it was her idea in the first place. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with controlling her emotions. It was at the age of 23 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Soon, she mastered the secrets of flower arranging. Each withering moment was a step away from being less of an asshole that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Truly blossomed in a secret Buddhist temple where she studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful triumph despite impregnating basically everybody. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by God himself.

Haters have described her combat aptitude style as "amateur dick-slapping", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "basically her new religion" and "some of the best stuff since gonhorrea destroyed my ass."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.