President Baltar Buster Machine No. 6357
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About President Baltar Age: 33 Gender: M Location: Brooklyn, NY Joined: 13 years ago on 07/20/06 Last Visit: 2 years ago Type: Gold Member Paid Member Privileges: Yes Privileges Expire: 496 days from now
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President Baltar is currently piloting
LIBERTY ROBO with Lady Ava
LIBERTY ROBO's special combat abilities are known to include:
Laser Staff of Wrath Womb-Mounted Bomb
DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting civilians by improving their weapons power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Diddler, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient aggressive handjob technique to ensure this war for human survival. As we all know that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Highway Derelict when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of schoolchildren in order to save the oldest remaining public library in Topeka. In the past, the pilots' parents have envied the pilots' dedication to asskicking. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will cause incurable cancer unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they destroy the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was an arms dealer. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 5 that he had a sex change. Eventually, he totally failed to unlock the art of mayhem. Each joyful moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that his heart yearned for.
Schooled on the streets where he studied whatever the fuck he felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless. After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing success despite infuriating basically everybody. According to survivors, most of the city was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess. Following the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to potato peeler, first class by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever. So-called experts have described his sensual kissing style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while others have described it as "basically his new religion" and "some of the best Jaeger piloting since Gen. George Patton sexually dominated all of my friends." Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty. Geek dating and social networking for awesome people. Sign Up. Join OtakuBooty! OtakuBooty is where smart, funny, sexy nerds meet. Creating an account is free. Full membership is $4/month or $15/year. Cheap! Press People. Need material? Cover OB for your site, blog, podcast, magazine, or what-have-you. More info » Want Your Stuff Reviewed By OB? Just send us your press releases and requests to review your products.