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Gelatinous_Snake

Buster Machine No. 6892
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About Gelatinous_Snake

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 12 years ago on 10/02/06
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 555 days from now

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm the worst human being ever. No really. I'm not joking... Call me?”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Eat and cry. Repeat.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Misanthrope/Curmudgeon/Dreg”

What's your dream job?

“One that allows me to use my genitals in an open, professional setting.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“My cat has only two teeth.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Are you a girl? Is it Halloween?”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Dunno, never had one.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Trigun, Fullmetal Panic?Fumoffu, Naruto, Bleach, Tenchi, Gurren Lagann, Death Note, Gaogaigar, some Gundams, Kare Kano, FLCL, Escaflowne, Evangelion, Outlaw Star, Eureka 7, etc...”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Play some music and watch either my feet or facial expressions. Then you'll know what I like.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I like everything you like, except better.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Wizard World Philly, Otakon, NYCC, and maybe some horror cons inbetween.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Bioshock, Final Fantasies, Devil May Cry, MGS, Prince of Persia, God of War, Katamari, Xenosaga, Shadow of the Colossus, Sonic the Hedgehog, anything Mario, ZELDA, Metriod, Super Smash Bros., Resident Evil, Onimusha”

Jaeger Assignment

Gelatinous_Snake is currently piloting FLAMING GUARDIAN with Peachykeen

FLAMING GUARDIAN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Cosmic Groin Strike
  • Million-Kick Festival

DOSSIER: Job is is to destroy Kaiju and supply tricky tax advice to other Jaeger pilots. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they punch the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by mongooses in the affluent slums of Hell itself. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 19 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several seconds getting his ass kicked in a secret waterfall. Each suprisingly filthy lesson was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that that his sense of honor demanded.

Truly blossomed at Sweet Valley High where he studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about him.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked thing that legends are made of despite killing the old lady down the block. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

In the aftermath of the touching battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Corporal by God himself.

Haters have described his sensual kissing style as "second-rate ass-grabbing", while mostly everybody else has described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the best Jaeger piloting since Godzilla destroyed your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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