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Buster Machine No. 7126
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About zampi03

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Elkton, MD

Joined: 13 years ago on 11/05/06
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 428 days from now

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Jaeger Assignment

zampi03 is currently piloting TORNADO RAMPAGE with TrboDeezl

TORNADO RAMPAGE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Penis-Mounted Hammer
  • Million-Choke-Hold Festival

DOSSIER: Job is is to embarrass Kaiju and supply helpful blowjobs to civilians. Impervious to harsh criticism. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and have an unequaled ability to explode some Kaiju faces.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of love and tough love. Not all that devastated by the Kaiju murder of father because it was her idea in the first place. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. As time progressed, she learned the techniques of Hokuto Shinken. Each joyful day was a step away from the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite excessive body odor because of having nothing better to do.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane affair despite falling in love with a bunch of innocent bystanders. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Deciding to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and has been making some pretty good progress.

"The thing is," says her commander, "She'd be a lot better at embracing my love if she stopped being an asshole. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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