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TimeToBeatFeet

Buster Machine No. 7432
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About TimeToBeatFeet

Age: 32
Gender: M
Location: Plano, TX

Joined: 12 years ago on 12/19/06
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

TimeToBeatFeet is currently piloting NIMBLE BEEFCAKE with Snorlax

NIMBLE BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Incredible Dagger
  • Legendary Butt Blast of Retribution

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply much-needed tax advice to basically anybody who asks, even during the confusion of full-force combat. Impervious to expressing its feelings. Certainly that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Rumble when the pilots sacrificed two or three orphans in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and live to eradicate some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with some serious assholes in the peaceful swamps of Madagascar. Greatly affected by the murder of father guys that really knew how to party, in his own way. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 23 that he swore revenge. Reluctantly spent the next several hours sleeping in a secret comic book store. Each suprisingly filthy day was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that his heart yearned for.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite excessive body odor because of having nothing better to do. With a fighting style that combined the gassy outbursts of a seasoned expert with frankly unnecessary brutality, termed "Invincible Strapping Fieldhand Style", he soon gained the admiration of commanders.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid failure despite impregnating his mother. Classified intel indicates most of the town was saved and the rest was incinerated.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to bat boy for the Mets by God himself.

Critics have described his partying style as "weak-ass bullshit", while others have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the best stuff since Mike Tyson invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.

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