Frito

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Snohomish, WA

Joined: 7 years ago on 12/22/06
Last Visit: 8 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 96 days from now

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Frito is currently piloting PLATYPUS FEATHER with Lamb Eater

PLATYPUS FEATHER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Divine Bodyslam
• Hawk's Chainsaw

DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by augmenting their offensive power. During the Battle Of Sydney, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to provide inspirational speeches while simultaneously displaying outstanding oral hygiene. Often, the pilots' parents have wished that the pilots would improve their alcohol tolerance. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of love and gin. Somewhat devastated by the conversion to Islam of grandmother at the age of three. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 5 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Decided to spend the next several years battling for his life in a filthy comic book store. Each joyful day was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Truly blossomed at Sweet Valley High where he studied his own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a drunken sailor with depressingly inconsistent speed, termed "Invincible Bastard Style", he soon gained the erections of some homeless guy.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up affair despite impregnating a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to shaving his pubes and is basically doing alright.

So-called experts have described his partying style as "weak-ass bullshit", while mostly everybody else has described it as "instant boner material" and "some of the toughest stuff since Arnold Schwartzeneggar ravaged your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.