such_brevity

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Virginia Beach, VA

Joined: 12 years ago on 12/27/06
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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such_brevity is currently piloting FLAMING HUNK with hide

FLAMING HUNK's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Fatal Chainsaw Volley of Destruction
• Thousand-Pound Tantrum of Desperation

DOSSIER: Role is is to insult Kaiju and supply courageous repair services to soldiers. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Frisky Rumble, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient doomsday device to prolong this war for human survival. Impervious to emotions. During the Battle Of Paris, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to fuck shit up while simultaneously displaying outstanding masturbation habits. Often, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' general cleanliness. Everybody agrees: these pilots are heroic and have one purpose, which is to break some Kaiju feelings.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was a drug lord. Profoundly devastated by the Kaiju murder of father because it was her idea in the first place. At an early age, showed no promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 5 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. As time progressed, she learned the secrets of mayhem. Each sexual day was a step closer to the kind of shit that her heart yearned for.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite a painful recurring prolapse because of her burning passion to succeed.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane crowd-pleaser despite infuriating basically everybody. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to bat boy for the Mets by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

"Son, you, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you learned and react to the new situation at hand. If you don't, you're fucked. And trust me, this is one pilot who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.