Tsunade no Hime

Age: 37
Gender: F
Location: Bethesda, MD

Joined: 12 years ago on 12/29/06
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Tsunade no Hime is currently piloting OVULATING BLACKJACK with LumenSimus

OVULATING BLACKJACK's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Breast-Mounted Frying Pan
• Elaborate Boomerang of Despair

DOSSIER: Job is is to confuse Kaiju and supply ferocious tax advice to soldiers. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are fun-loving and like nothing better than to aggressively fuck some Kaiju brains.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by monks in the idyllic suburbs of Dayton. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 5 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Spent the next several hours doing nothing in a hidden dojo. Each grueling yeast infection was a step away from the sensitive touching that her heart yearned for.

Found herself on the streets where she studied economics, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a tiger with erotic levels of violence, termed "Ferocious Strapping Fieldhand Style", she soon gained the sensitive touchings of perverts all over the world.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with nearly anybody that gave a shit. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

Deciding to get a clue, she dedicated herself to drinking a lot and has been making some pretty good progress.

Haters have described her robot piloting style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the best stuff since gonhorrea sexually dominated a bus-load of orphaned babies."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.