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Buster Machine No. 7787
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About Canada

Age: 30
Gender: F
Location: Toronto, ON

Joined: 14 years ago on 01/08/07
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 30 days from now

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Indiana Jones is in a refrigerator. I am wearing a bathrobe, eating Pad Thai and questioning my life. ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I'd like to meet someone that can fill out all my online profiles from now on.”

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Jaeger Assignment

Canada is currently piloting MERMAID MAIDEN with triM

MERMAID MAIDEN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Austistic Suckerpunch
  • Spectacular Fist Chop

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to annihilate Kaiju and supply perilous blowjobs to basically anybody who asks. Impervious to melancholy. During the Battle Of London, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to unleash devastating attacks while simultaneously displaying outstanding masturbation habits. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they eradicate the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and gin. Existence didn't really change much when nipples were seduced by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 23 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Each grueling beat-down was a step toward the kind of shit that her heart yearned for.

Found herself in a den of thieves where she studied economics, where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a scampering ferret with unbeatable brutality, termed "Ferocious Armadillo Style", she soon gained the praise of pretentious assholes everywhere.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a delightful failure despite "accidentally" killing the old lady down the block. Thanks to her efforts, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to potato peeler, first class by the President of what remained of the world.

Experts have described her robot piloting style as "embarrassing ass-grabbing", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "awesome" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since Mike Tyson invaded your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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