MeowMix

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: San Leandro, CA

Joined: 12 years ago on 01/08/07
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 559 days from now

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MeowMix is currently piloting HOTDOG SLEDGEHAMMER with bean

HOTDOG SLEDGEHAMMER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Triple-Jump-Kick Festival Festival
• Foot-Mounted Cannon

DOSSIER: Job is to unleash sporadic offense intended to annihilate the Kaiju by fucking up their brains. Cannot be damaged by violent attacks. In the past, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' general cleanliness. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they destroy the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of mom you wish you had. Father was a homeless man. Life didn't really change much when parents were killed by her little brother. It was at the age of 6 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Eventually, she learned the techniques of mayhem. Each surpising day was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that her parents expected from her.

Educated by the school of life where she studied forbidden knowledge, where it soon became apparent that she was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked success despite annoying the shit out of everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Due to her actions, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to the general's dogwalker by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

Haters have described her combat aptitude style as "embarrassing bullshit", while others have described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the best stuff since Godzilla destroyed my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.