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Madam GMILF

Buster Machine No. 7901
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About Madam GMILF

Age: 46
Gender: F
Location: Commerce City, CO

Joined: 7 years ago on 01/10/07
Last Visit: 23 hours ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 325 days from now

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hello. My name is Barb and I am an Internet junkie.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Obsess over [random male who catches my fancy]. Then cry into my pillow. Just kidding. I cry into a bottle of booze; tears add a certain je ne sais quoi.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I fight my way through traffic, an hour each way 5 days a week, to bash my head on the desk at stupid questions. Mostly from upper management. Then on weekends people pay me to pluck my bass.”

What's your dream job?

“Right now I am thinking I would like to get paid a living wage to cuddle puppies and kittens and not deal with people. Know anyplace hiring? Barring that: retired lottery winner or to get paid more as part-time musician.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I am unfunny, unless looks count.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone who can tolerate me for more than 5 minutes.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Excel Saga, Soul Reaper, Neon Genesis Evangelion, I My Me Strawberry Eggs, Oh My Goddess, Love Hina, Pet Shop of Horrors, Paranoia Agent, Death Note ”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“My standard answer here is "anything I am paid to play".”

Jaeger Assignment

Madam GMILF is currently piloting QUARTERBACK SHOCKER with Yo, Adrienne!

QUARTERBACK SHOCKER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Golden Nipple Dropkick Flood
  • Hornet's Boomerang

DOSSIER: Role is is to pulverize Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane repair services to basically anybody who asks. Sometimes, media pundits have been awestruck by the pilots' combat effectivness. Everybody agrees: these pilots are admirable and have an unequaled ability to punch some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was a mild-mannered librarian. Life didn't really change much when parents were seduced by giant robots, which is kind of a recurring here here. It was at the age of 5 that she had a sex change. Each erotic moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at the school of hard knocks where she studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that she was probably destined to be homeless. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a tiger with surprising speed, termed "Ferocious Falcon Style", she soon gained the attention of hippies.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful affair despite "accidentally" killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with some of the weakest bullshit attacks ever seen by mankind.

When the dust settled after the grueling battle, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"The thing is," says her best friend, "She'd be a lot better at everything if she took my dick out of her mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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