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Buster Machine No. 7967
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About theclockwork

Age: 43
Gender: M
Location: Saint Louis, MO

Joined: 14 years ago on 01/11/07
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 32 days from now

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3815 times
Would You Hit It? Would theclockwork?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Me? U want to know about me! I feel so privileged, welcome welcome, set down and I will tell you some thing about me, um.... I like purple. Some people say I am charming, others hate me. Its kind of a one or the other thing it seems. What?times up .”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an open relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“ I love sci-fi Friday and the food network. I am an old school table top gamer too. I like to cook gourmet food and bar tend for my friends I have some killer drinks you need to try. Spend time with my wife making her happy and corrupt the innocent.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I am a caseworker for the mentally ill homeless. Its a dirty stinky job, the pay sucks, and the well....the its really stinky, but some one has to do it. I read tarot on the side and make a good bit of money on that, I also write.”

What's your dream job?

“Teaching at a college, something to do with psych or para-psych, maybe anthropology. I would love to work in a think tank and figure out new ways to deal will old problems.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“Gods, I hate these things, don't you? Most of the funny stuff I did I can't write as It could be used against me in a court of law. Like the time we almost killed a fainting goat by accident, but I can say I have a metal full sized wolfwood cross.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Well I am new to the area and would love to meet just about everyone, We could use some more friends and people to party with. As for love, well I already have found it in my lovely wife Gwendolyn, however we have been known to date the right girl.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Been there done that, it can work, but you have to let go of expectations. If you really want it to work you got to know that people are human and have needs, and until you're there everyday, well, its best to define terms of the relationship clearly”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Trigun, oh my goddess, r.o.d, cowboybebop, and HeXeD the manga I am the co-author on, soon to be published”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“SWING, I love to swing dance, I also love just about anything else, 80's, alternative, rock and roll, it is has a beat I like it. But I don't like much country or rap. ps bull moose all the way teddy R. 4ever.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Well, I love anime, I have lots of it, LOTS, I co-write a manga called HeXeD which tokyopop and radio-x is looking at for publishing. I cosplay a lot, I have several good costumes out there, some of it is american cartoons however.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I make A-kon (dallas) where I run a event called the army of the princess of akon, think roving mob. I also hit contraception(kc), and conflation (stl), conniption(Columbia), archon (Estl), and many others”

Into games? List your favorites!

“I love most table top games, 3.5 is good but I prefer old school. I like fung shui. Anything that have a Lovecraft like flare is good with me.”

Other Online Gaming Info

“City of heros, warcraft 3 not WoW, lots of little games, and of course, Im chat, which if your not concidering it a game, let me get you a bottle and I can teach you the rules.”

Jaeger Assignment

theclockwork is currently piloting WILDEBEEST BRAWLER with Shiny

WILDEBEEST BRAWLER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Penis-Mounted Beam
  • Penis-Mounted Dagger of Suffering

DOSSIER: Job is is to confuse Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane counseling services to other Jaeger pilots. Sometimes, other Jaeger pilots have complimented the pilots' masturbation habits. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to masturbation habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by some serious assholes in the dangerous foothills of Dayton. Life didn't really change much when friends were eaten by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 6 that he had a sex change. Spent the next several seconds masturbating in a secret homeless shelter. Each surpising beat-down was a step toward being less of an asshole that his parents expected from him.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite a painful recurring prolapse because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane affair despite annoying the shit out of nearly anybody that gave a shit. Thanks to his efforts, most of the city was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Deciding to rest on his laurels, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

Critics have described his partying style as "second-rate dick-slapping", while others have described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the toughest mayhem since gonhorrea sexually dominated nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.

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