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Cash

Buster Machine No. 8096
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About Cash

Age: 31
Gender: M
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 10 years ago on 01/13/07
Last Visit: 42 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 992 days from now

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Would You Hit It? Would Cash?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Currency dictates the circumstances in my life and in the lives of those within my proximity.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Make poor decisions.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“IT, A/V, and HTTP.”

What's your dream job?

“Federal Boobie Inspector.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I'm not funny.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Velma.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Hahahahahahahah... right.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Attack on Titan, Polar Bear Café, Death Note, Kids on the Slope, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagaan, Neon Genesis EVANGELION”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Every year: MAGFest, WWPhilly, ConnectiCon, Intervention, PhilCon.”

Steam Nickname

“glitchphil”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“Philkahol”

Jaeger Assignment

Cash is currently piloting SPECTACULAR PASSION with Japanfreak

SPECTACULAR PASSION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Finishing Machete
  • Oozing Head Bodyslam of Despair

DOSSIER: Job is to supply intense offense intended to attack the Kaiju by murdering their brains. Cannot be damaged by gentle caresses. Certainly that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Final Cumberbatch when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's psychopaths in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of mom you wish you had. Father was a drug lord. Greatly devastated by the Kaiju murder of his hamster because it was his idea in the first place. At an early age, showed great aptitude for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 5 that he had a sex change. Decided to spend the next several years fighting for survival in a filthy toy store. Each erotic fuck-up was a step away from becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his parents expected from him.

Schooled on the streets where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked failure despite annoying the shit out of his mother. Thanks to his efforts, most of the town was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to bat boy for the Mets by by popular demand.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot worse at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he started touching himself a little more. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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