instructions

Age: 43
Gender: M
Location: Baltimore, MD

Joined: 14 years ago on 01/22/07
Last Visit: 12 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

View all public photos... (5 total)

• You've viewed their Profile 2129 times

[current user isn't logged in]

instructions is currently piloting HAWK FALCON with bambiffpow

HAWK FALCON's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Penis-Mounted Laser
• Thousand-Strike Festival

DOSSIER: Job is is to embarrass Kaiju and supply tricky tax advice to other Jaeger pilots. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to perform like a real pussy every so often. One thing is certain: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to partying.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by robots in the affluent slums of Seattle. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 5 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Spent the next several years getting his ass kicked in a secret robot repair shop. Each grueling day was a step closer to the bloody satisfaction that his parents expected from him.

Found himself at M.I.T. where he studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to attempting to pilot his Jaeger sober and has been making some pretty good progress.

Experts have described his sensual kissing style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while others have described it as "brutally effecient" and "some of the most heroic Jaeger piloting since Gen. George Patton sexually dominated people left and right."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.