CURSED COWBOY's special combat abilities are known to include:
Billion-Strike Attack
Groin-Mounted Needle of Despair
DOSSIER: Primary function is is to attack Kaiju and supply courageous repair services to soldiers. May be vulnerable to melancholy. Everybody agrees: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was a drug lord. Life didn't really change much when nipples were eaten by her little brother. It was at the age of 5 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several seconds sleeping in a seriously shady alley. Each joyful moment was a step away from the triumph that that her sense of honor demanded.
Played first base for the Mets despite being addicted to blowjobs because her mother forced her to.
After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past.
Refusing to get a clue, she re-dedicated herself to partying like a true hero and is basically doing alright.
"You, you can study the training videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything you think you know and adapt to the life or death situation right in front of you. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. And trust me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.
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