Slade xTekno

Age: 30
Gender: M
Location: Washington, DC

Joined: 11 years ago on 03/06/07
Last Visit: 7 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Slade xTekno is currently piloting RACER RACER with Corey Hart

RACER RACER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Oozing Stomp
• Raging Bodycheck of Justice

DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by fortifying their defensive power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Sword, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient doomsday device to ensure this war for human survival. Impervious to emotions. We can safely say that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Magical when the pilots sacrificed several hundred psychopaths in order to save several terabytes of pornography. In the past, commanding officers have wished that the pilots would improve their oral hygiene. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to intensity.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a famous CEO. Father was deeply in love with her. Life didn't really change much when nipples were killed by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 19 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Eventually, he totally failed to unlock the techniques of baking. Each suprisingly filthy moment was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite a painful recurring prolapse because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid failure despite annoying the shit out of his best friend. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was incinerated.

Deciding to get a clue, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and is basically doing alright.

So-called experts have described his sensual kissing style as "amateur dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since gonhorrea sexually dominated all of my friends."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.