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Duck

Buster Machine No. 1379
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About Duck

Age: 34
Gender: F
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 13 years ago on 02/20/04
Last Visit: 3 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 14683 times
Would You Hit It? Would Duck?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I am not funny. ”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“I just got a NetFlix subscription. ”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I play with computers, power tools, paint and books. I fight spam. ”

What's your dream job?

“I had my dream job, and then I realized that it wasn't my dream job after all. Now aspirations make me wary. ”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I'm not funny at all. ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“"cute, funny and intelligent" is a minimum requirement, not a preference.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I'm pretty good at finding people I like within a 20 mile radius.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Into games? List your favorites!

“I like turn based strategy. ”

Steam Nickname

“notaduck”

Jaeger Assignment

Duck is currently piloting SPICY HOLLYWOOD with Killian

SPICY HOLLYWOOD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Steampowered Stomp
  • Double-Dropkick Formation

DOSSIER: Role is is to confuse Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane massages to civilians. During the Battle Of Los Angeles, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to protect their friends while simultaneously displaying outstanding dedication to asskicking. At times, commanding officers have expressed concern over the pilots' intensity. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to partying.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and beatings. Existence didn't really change much when friends were seduced by ninjas. It was at the age of 23 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Decided to spend the next several seconds masturbating in a seriously shady waterfall. Each sexual moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Played first base for the Mets despite excessive body odor because of her immense determination. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with surprising brutality, termed "Elegant Strapping Fieldhand Style", she soon gained the praise of some homeless guy.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane thing that legends are made of despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of innocent bystanders. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, she re-dedicated herself to becoming a sassy black woman and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says her best friend, "She'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if she opened up her hearts. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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