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KraazyIVAN

Buster Machine No. 1641
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About KraazyIVAN

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Ann Arbor, MI

Joined: 14 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Would You Hit It? Would KraazyIVAN?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hi.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“MBA - Ross School of Business. Did consulting before, lots of travel. Also have an MS in Human Computer Interaction”

What's your dream job?

“Perpetual Vacation”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Nice people?”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Fine by me, used to travel for a living.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Ranma 1/2, Ghost in the Shell”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Most things from the Half-Life Engine”

Jaeger Assignment

KraazyIVAN is currently piloting COSMIC GOITER with Breezy

COSMIC GOITER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Supple Stomp
  • Elbow-Mounted Slicer of Salvation

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply much-needed counseling services to other Jaeger pilots, even during the confusion of full-force lovemaking. Cannot be damaged by fire-based enemy attacks. We can safely say that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Magical when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of puppies in order to save a small amount of time. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they explode the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a travelling Gypsy. Father was deeply in love with her. Life was transformed permanently when goldfish were killed by ninjas. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each joyful beat-down was a step closer to being less of an asshole that his parents expected from him.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being addicted to blowjobs because sometimes life is crazy like that.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful crowd-pleaser despite killing Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Refusing to get a clue, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.

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