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Buster Machine No. 18939
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About PhillyKrueger

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Jacksonville, FL

Joined: 11 years ago on 12/12/08
Last Visit: 8 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Who's the f*cking Nihilish here?!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Paint sh*t GOLD!”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm a tattoo artist. I'm a musical hired gun (your band needs to tour, a member can't go out, you call me).”

What's your dream job?

“A professor at RTS”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone with a pulse... or not. Pulse optional.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“"Can you see the sunset from the Southside real good? ... You can from the Northside, too." - Ponyboy Curtis, The Outsiders”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Last 5 Artists I've listened to: Raekwon, Rancid, Hank III, Misery Signals, Conducting from the Grave”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I only watch a small collection of anime (Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo and FlCl), never read a manga - but I love video games. In the midst of Fallout III”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Usually the only conventions I get to go to are tattoo conventions. It's much more work than fun. But I would LOVE to have the chance to make it to a ComicCon.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“FFVII, Xenogears, the Fallout series, and Madden (because I'm a washed out ex-highschool jock trapped in the body of a.... washed out ex-highschool jock)”

Jaeger Assignment

PhillyKrueger is currently piloting THUNDERING BEEFCAKE with Super Jaundice

THUNDERING BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Nuclear Machine Gun of Suffering
  • Raptor's Wedgie Whirlwind

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply tricky counseling services to basically anybody who asks, even during the mayhem of undercover lovemaking. Cannot be damaged by gentle attacks. Often, the pilots' parents have heaped praise upon the pilots' dedication to partying. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they piss all over the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of grain alcohol and church-going. Existence threw a fucking curveball when parents were eaten by his little brother. It was at the age of 19 that he had a sex change. As time progressed, he totally failed to unlock the techniques of flower arranging. Each suprisingly filthy moment was a step away from becoming a true sexual being, and was all that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Schooled by the school of life where he studied whatever the fuck he felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite impregnating Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with extremely low self-esteem.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

So-called experts have described his Jaeger tactics style as "weak-ass bullshit", while others have described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the most heroic Jaeger piloting since Gen. George Patton invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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