Dwarf Galaxy

Age: 26
Gender: M
Location: Edenton, NC

Joined: 11 years ago on 08/17/09
Last Visit: 9 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Dwarf Galaxy is currently piloting FLAMING BASTARD with grape_STARS

FLAMING BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Predictable Cutlass
• Hundred-Haymaker Barrage

DOSSIER: Job is is to attack Kaiju and supply courageous tax advice to basically anybody who asks. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Nightmare, a plan to use an experimental, new doomsday device to ensure the designated hitter rule. May be vulnerable to alcohol. We can safely say that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Storm when the pilots sacrificed many condemned criminals in order to save some dude's record collection. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and have an unequaled ability to punch some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was deeply in love with her. At an early age, showed no promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Gradually, he mastered the techniques of flatulence. Each joyful fuck-up was a step closer to being less of an asshole that his parents expected from him.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite a total lack of bowel control because he was the one foretold by the prophecy. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a bull with unbeatable levels of violence, termed "Ferocious Tiger Style", he soon gained the attention of pretentious assholes everywhere.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent failure despite impregnating a bunch of innocent bystanders. Thanks to his efforts, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.

Refusing to rest on his laurels, he dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

So-called experts have described his partying style as "second-rate dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "awesome" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since my dad invaded most of my hometown."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.