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Oleander

Buster Machine No. 2152
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About Oleander

Age: 32
Gender: F
Location: Denver, CO

Joined: 14 years ago on 05/24/04
Last Visit: 51 days ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 8903 times
Would You Hit It? Would Oleander?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“God, what did you do to this place?”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Cameras, shower, you know the drill.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I make out with chemicals more than is strictly recommended. Burn people. I keep myself in a job by having waay too many of them. It's great.”

What's your dream job?

“I have a couple theories on what I want to be when I grow up. They are all very realistic and boring. So a Fantanna!”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I AM FUCKING SHORT AS HELL.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Living breathing creatures of wit and talent.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I lame out in the noodz department. It probably won't work.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“The girly standard. ”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“NDK, that other one we have in colorado now...”

Into games? List your favorites!

“I caught the herpes off MMORPGs”

Jaeger Assignment

Oleander is currently piloting BINGO PERIL with KitAdrian

BINGO PERIL's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Knowledge Headbutt
  • Eagle's Headbutt

DOSSIER: Job is to support friendly forces by improving their weapons power. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Ragnarok, a plan to use a fucked-up, truly astonishing doomsday device to end the designated hitter rule. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and nobody questions their dedication to sexual health.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by monks in the dangerous foothills of an average American small town. Life didn't really change much when friends were kidnapped by ninjas. It was at the age of 6 that she had a sex change. Each joyful lesson was a step toward the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at M.I.T. where she studied forbidden knowledge, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane crowd-pleaser despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Refusing to get a clue, she re-dedicated herself to experimenting with foreplay instead of jumping right into "the good stuff" and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"Son, you, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything she taught you and adapt to the crazy situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you're fucked. Believe me, this is one crazy asshole who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.

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