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Chicken Tank

Buster Machine No. 2241
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About Chicken Tank

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: Alexandria, VA

Joined: 10 years ago on 06/13/04
Last Visit: 14 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 12 days from now

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  • You've viewed their Profile 7652 times
Would You Hit It? Would Chicken Tank?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Most curious about dynamic tension.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Be obnoxious on Facebook and other grown up things.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I gave up being smart and poor, now i'm dumb and well off.”

What's your dream job?

“Paid Model United Nations coach. ”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I have a picture of myself being interviewed by Space Ghost. ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I'd love to find people to chat with.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I have had lots of luck meeting awesome people on the internet. ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Crimson Pig is one of my favorite movies. I have been reading the Wizard of Oz comics.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“My stepbrother's band tours the World with Steve Martin. Yes, that Steve Martin.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I have been playing a lot of the free online battle arena games and i'm open to playing on teams. Would like tips on new anime to watch.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Out of the Con Scene for now.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“I enjoy team based music games and turn based strategies.”

Other Online Gaming Info

“I'm playing Mech Warrior Online, League of Legends, and World of Tanks.”

Jaeger Assignment

Chicken Tank is currently piloting INCREDIBLE STALLION with lazerflesh

INCREDIBLE STALLION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Nipple-Mounted Soup Ladle of Vengeance
  • Creepy Butt Punch

DOSSIER: Primary function is to supply lightning-like offense designed to insult the Kaiju by speed-humping their heads. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they explode the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with loving parents in the peaceful swamps of Tanzania. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 6 that he discovered bathing. Each joyful day was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that his parents expected from him.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite a painful recurring prolapse because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid triumph despite infuriating his best friend. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Following the grueling battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to bat boy for the Mets by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if he opened up his hearts. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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