TonySmooth322 is currently piloting SWAGGERING ERUPTION with Dizzie
SWAGGERING ERUPTION's special combat abilities are known to include:
Steamy Head Dropkick
Spicy Kick
DOSSIER: Role is to perform sporadic offense designed to disable the Kaiju by fucking up their reproductive organs. Often, other Jaeger pilots have heaped praise upon the pilots' combat effectivness. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have an unequaled ability to destroy some Kaiju emotions.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by wolves in the affluent foothills of Tanzania. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 6 that he had a sex change. Each erotic day was a step away from becoming a true sexual being, and was all that most people would stay the fuck away from.
Unlocked his inner unicorn at Sweet Valley High where he studied some crazy advanced shit... I don't know, lasers or something... where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a drunken sailor with sensual passion, termed "Invincible Armadillo Style", he soon gained the attention of some homeless guy.
He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up success despite annoying the shit out of basically everybody. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.
Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to General by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.
"Son, you, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there partying, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the fucked-up situation at hand. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. And trust me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.
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