trabus

Age: 41
Gender: M
Location: Seattle, WA

Joined: 14 years ago on 07/06/04
Last Visit: 8 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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trabus is currently piloting FREEDOM CHEETAH with Hermano

FREEDOM CHEETAH's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Rotund Stomp
• Amazing Ear Bodycheck

DOSSIER: Job is is to confuse Kaiju and supply helpful repair services to other Jaegers. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Frisky Rimjob, a plan to use an experimental, new boner pill to end erectile dysfunction. May be vulnerable to alcohol. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was a homeless man. Not all that aroused by the painful goiter loss of father at the age of three. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 5 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Soon, he totally failed to unlock the secrets of oral hygeine. Each erotic fuck-up was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that that his sense of honor demanded.

Educated at the school of hard knocks where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite annoying the shit out of his best friend. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"Son, you, you can study the training videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the new situation right in front of you. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. And trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.