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Matt Fucking Miller

Buster Machine No. 2376
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About Matt Fucking Miller

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: North Hollywood, CA

Joined: 15 years ago on 07/06/04
Last Visit: 54 days ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

Matt Fucking Miller is currently piloting DAINTY DEFIANCE with Celesleia

DAINTY DEFIANCE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Quadruple-Uppercut Orgy
  • Venomous Cutlass

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply ferocious counseling services to other Jaegers, even during the heartbreak of covert lovemaking. May be vulnerable to alcohol. Perhaps that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Nightmare when the pilots sacrificed countless kittens in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to really bum you out every so often. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of daily swordfighting lessons and tough love. Not all that devastated by the conversion to Islam of some shitty cat at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 5 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Each joyful beat-down was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Educated in a den of thieves where he studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a tiger with surprising passion, termed "Elegant Hulk Style", he soon gained the erections of some homeless guy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane success despite falling in love with Whoopi Goldberg. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Chief Asskicker by by popular demand.

So-called experts have described his robot piloting style as "weak-ass ass-grabbing", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the most heroic stuff since Bruce Lee ravaged most of my hometown."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.

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