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avarisa

Buster Machine No. 25272
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About avarisa

Age: 28
Gender: F
Location: Louisville, KY

Joined: 3 years ago on 10/24/11
Last Visit: 19 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I enjoy attending concerts, viewing artwork, indulging in various degrees of nerdery and other typical social activities. ”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Drink and hang out with friends, check out movies, concerts, bars, derp around the internets, read, draw, paint.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“By day I'm a respectable assistant manager type. By night I drink and slay dragons. My work is never done. ”

What's your dream job?

“Getting paid more than I deserve for relatively stress-free and fulfilling work. ”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I portrayed King Arthur for 2 years in my High School's rendition of Monty Python and the Holy grail.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone fun to talk to and spend time with - good/dark sense of humor and some similar interests are a plus. More importaintly tho, someone with an open mind who also likes learning and experiencing new things. ”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They're a bitch. Works for some people or certain situations I suppose, but as a general rule I refrain. ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Read a bit back in the day (Fruits Basket, Sorcerer Hunters), never got into it heavily.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Tool, NiN, APC, Puscifer, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Beatles, Queens of the Stone Age, Deadmau5... a few of the favorites.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Free time is typically spent playing Skyrim. Occasionally play League of Legends or SC2. ”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Blizzcon2011, maybe more in 2012.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Skyrim, League of Legends, Diablo, Portal/2, Super Mario Bros. ”

Steam Nickname

“Avarisa”

Other Online Gaming Info

“LoL, SC2”

Jaeger Assignment

avarisa is currently piloting LACTATING VORTEX with AnimeTechWolf

LACTATING VORTEX's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Passionate Sword
  • Austistic Strike Technique

DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting basically anybody who asks by improving their long-range detection capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Defiant Eruption, a plan to use a game-changing, truly astonishing fried chicken recipe to hopefully end Obamacare. Cannot be damaged by sensitive caresses. In the past, media pundits have heaped praise upon the pilots' combat effectivness. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to act like a total asshole every so often. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they eradicate the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a sexy robot. Father was one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for. Not really affected by the conversion to Islam of her hamster while masturbating. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with not slaughtering literally every living being she encountered. It was at the age of 5 that she discovered bathing. Reluctantly spent the next several seconds doing nothing in a filthy toy store. Each withering lesson was a step toward the triumph that her parents expected from her.

Truly blossomed by the school of life where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite killing her mother. Thanks to her efforts, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

When the dust settled after the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

"People need to understand, you can study the training videos all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything she taught you and adapt to the life or death situation right in front of you. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. Believe me, this is one crazy asshole who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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