Lamb Eater Buster Machine No. 2554
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About Lamb Eater Age: 31 Gender: F Location: Perry Hall, MD Joined: 11 years ago on 08/02/04 Last Visit: 16 months ago Type: Gold Member Paid Member Privileges: None
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Which gender are you interested in?
“Guys or girls!”
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“I'm here to stalk John Booty”
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Lamb Eater is currently piloting
PLATYPUS FEATHER with Frito
PLATYPUS FEATHER's special combat abilities are known to include:
Divine Bodyslam Hawk's Chainsaw
DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by augmenting their offensive power. During the Battle Of Sydney, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to provide inspirational speeches while simultaneously displaying outstanding oral hygiene. Often, the pilots' parents have wished that the pilots would improve their alcohol tolerance. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with some serious assholes in the tranquil foothills of Tanzania. At an early age, showed no promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 6 that she had a sex change. As time progressed, she mastered the secrets of babysitting. Each grueling moment was a step away from the sensitive touching that that her sense of honor demanded.
Played first base for the Mets despite excessive body odor because her mother forced her to. After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up thing that legends are made of despite infuriating the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something. Following the grueling battle, pilot was angrily promoted to potato peeler, first class by the President of what remained of the world. Jealous people have described her Jaeger tactics style as "second-rate weaksauce", while others have described it as "instant boner material" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since Arnold Schwartzeneggar sexually dominated people left and right." Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.
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