penpen Buster Machine No. 2590
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About penpen Age: 29 Gender: M Location: Silver Spring, MD Joined: 9 years ago on 08/07/04 Last Visit: 29 days ago Type: Gold Member Paid Member Privileges: None
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penpen is currently piloting
LUSTY ASSKICKER with emuko
LUSTY ASSKICKER's special combat abilities are known to include:
Joyfulness Bash of Happiness Bumblebee's Black Hole Generator of Revenge
DOSSIER: Job is is to confuse Kaiju and supply tricky repair services to other Jaeger pilots. One thing is certain: these pilots are fun-loving and like nothing better than to smash some Kaiju heads.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a secretary. Father was deeply in love with her. Existence threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were seduced by giant robots, which is kind of a recurring hime here. It was at the age of 6 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Spent the next several years fucking people up in a secret toy store. Each joyful day was a step toward the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.
Educated in some homeless guy's alleyway where he studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a tiger with erotic sensuality, termed "Elegant Elephant Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of instructors. After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid triumph despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all. When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to the general's dogwalker by his first grade teacher. "The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if he opened up his hearts. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that." Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.
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