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Rubber Nipple Salesman

Buster Machine No. 3181
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About Rubber Nipple Salesman

Age: 43
Gender: M
Location: Glenside, PA

Joined: 17 years ago on 12/17/04
Last Visit: 4 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Would You Hit It? Would Rubber Nipple Salesman?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“i thought i knew everything. i thought i had read every single panel of leisuretown. but it took me until 2011 to realize "shave your nuts and meet me in the john" came from leisuretown. i failed.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“i'm turning an NES into a cigar humidor.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“artist, musician, fine woodworker, i compose a lot of trance, dance, and weird ethnic sorts of music. currently restoring a banjo ukulele i trash picked.”

What's your dream job?

“i wanna be marco in metal slug, eat pork and get fat. I want the gun that launches exploding zombie dogs.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“i own a real doll that looks exactly like Orihime Inoue, except with a penis.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“someone to be the otis to my henry. ”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?


Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“bleach, durarara, kekkaishi, full metal alchemist, crayon shin-chan, flcl, ninja scroll, guyver, neon evangelion, cashhern, deadman wonderland.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“anything electronic except house indie rock new age ambient bluegrass dance hall mimes being hit with a shovel *no top 40”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“since getting a ps4 i barely fap anymore. After getting killed 25 times in CoD by a 12 year old my testosterone level is somewhere around 0.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“there's a convention in my pants and you're all invited. philly steampunk convention if it happens.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Fallout, borderlands, walking simulators, anything 8 bit. I also like to pretend i'm an 11 year old girl in yahoo chat rooms.”

Steam Nickname

“I dunno. I have to check.”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“psn: oberstgeneral”

Other Online Gaming Info

“Nigerian email scams.”

Jaeger Assignment

Rubber Nipple Salesman is currently piloting BULL SERAPHIM with MajorArcanna

BULL SERAPHIM's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Ill-Advised Punch Festival
  • Dynamite Foot Tackle

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply helpful tax advice to other Jaegers, even during the melancholy of night-time skirmishes. During the Battle Of Topeka, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to party while simultaneously displaying outstanding alcohol tolerance. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and like nothing better than to break some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by some serious assholes in the dangerous suburbs of Madagascar. Life threw a fucking curveball when nipples were fellated by giant robots, which is kind of a recurring hime here. It was at the age of 19 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Decided to spend the next several years sleeping in a hidden dojo. Each enchanting day was a step closer to the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite excessive body odor because his mother forced him to. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a drunken sailor with surprising speed, termed "Elegant Hulk Style", he soon gained the attention of hippies.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane affair despite annoying the shit out of basically everybody. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with extremely low self-esteem.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to attempting to pilot his Jaeger sober and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

So-called experts have described his sensual kissing style as "amateur ass-grabbing", while mostly everybody else has described it as "awesome" and "some of the toughest mayhem since Bruce Lee destroyed Barcelona."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.

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