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Buster Machine No. 3388
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About evilzug

Age: 41
Gender: M
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 15 years ago on 02/28/05
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 162 days from now

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  • You've viewed their Profile 6672 times
Would You Hit It? Would evilzug?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Sup dudes this is a little about myself, I have internet superpowers because I am a master of the internet. Everyone knows this so you better check yourself before you wreck yourself because a goatse on your screen is bad for your health.”

What do you do for fun?

“Jumpkicks, sing in the car, practice voices in the car, drive. Eat delicious food. Drink. Be internet funny. Seek new and exciting and strage things to be confused by on the internets. Make new internet friends. Make fun of stupid people.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I'm a Flash hax0r. I'm a multimedia producer - I make flash games and facebook apps.”

What's your dream job?

“Being the director of a productive artists commune in which my friends and I focus our creative energies to create quality entertainment while all living in harmony. Oh yes, I'd have a mansion and a harem, too. I would be fed spaghettios and drink.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I have both done and have owned your mom. Wow, that works out well!”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Only radical people. I only have time in my life to meet radical people. If you are not radical, or even have doubts, don't bother because I ain't goin out like no sucker.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Been there, done that. No shame. I've seen them both work out, and fail miserably, (more latter then former.) If you can pull it off, go for it. I personally don't think that the human body was designed to be denied physicality for long times.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“FLCL looks cool, OMFgoddess move is really awesome because angels are cyber. Eye candy, violence, hot girls.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“80's Music, 90's Music, Beastie Boys, Beck, Benny Benassi, Billy Joel, Chemical Brothers, Chiptunes, Crystal Method, Daft Punk, Dance Music, Disco, Electric Six, Fear Factory, Fatboy Slim, Gnarles Barkley, Hurra Torpedo, and I ran out of room...”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I am not one of you, I come from an ancient time. I'm known as the Golden Suitcase Boy. Anime is ok because sometimes the girls are really hot, but real girls are really hot. I like explosions and robots and hot girls, with decent sized breasts.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“AnimeExpo, Penny Arcade Expo, ANOMU CON CNARNE”

Into games? List your favorites!

“No way games suck psyche games rule. Hmm, how about one per console! River City Ransom, Actraiser, Herzog Zwei, Bloody Roar, Bioforge, Gran Tourismo 4. Of course this is not nearly all of them but I am going to run out of room soon so I need to ma”

Steam Nickname


XBox Live! Gamertag


Other Online Gaming Info

“Played WoW like it was my job, not so much anymore. Been playing a TON of League of Legends, and a little SC2”

Jaeger Assignment

evilzug is currently piloting FESTERING HOLLYWOOD with momomomocide

FESTERING HOLLYWOOD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Buttered Groin Nippletwister of Desperation
  • Inefficient Cricket Bat Formation

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to attack Kaiju and supply much-needed repair services to other Jaegers. May be vulnerable to melancholy. We can safely say that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Magical Hogwarts when the pilots sacrificed two or three leading scientists in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to cause incurable cancer every so often. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are fun-loving and nobody questions their dedication to oral hygiene.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was the kind of 'earthy' lesbian that has huge arms and is really into the Indigo Girls. Father was a mild-mannered librarian. Life threw a fucking curveball when parents were eaten by assassins. It was at the age of 23 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Each grueling beat-down was a step closer to becoming a true sexual being, and was all that his parents expected from him.

Schooled at Oxford where he studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with sensual power, termed "Invincible Strapping Fieldhand Style", he soon gained the praise of commanders.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent affair despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

When the dust settled after the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to Head Badass by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

Experts have described his Jaeger tactics style as "second-rate dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the most heroic Jaeger piloting since Mike Tyson invaded most of my hometown."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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