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Exploding Alex

Buster Machine No. 3706
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About Exploding Alex

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Washington, DC

Joined: 9 years ago on 04/25/05
Last Visit: 3 hours ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 7172 times
Would You Hit It? Would Exploding Alex?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“This is the surrealism gag anime with the big roar of laughter to such an unfortunate boy!”

What do you do for fun?

“Cook. But I almost never do that.”

What's your dream job?

“Put me in a giant robot. I'll save the Earth.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I once worked at Medieval Times. I was told to backflip off a horse at full gallop by an angry Spaniard. I fell on my head and broke my lance.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I'm looking forward to my first communication with a giant squid.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“How long distance are we talking? Will relativistic time difference be a factor? OH GOD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, NORIKO I LOVE YOU! AIM FOR THE TOP!”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Dragonar, Dougram, Planetes, L-Gaim, Danguard Ace, Barudios, Panzer World Galient, Heldensagen von Kosmosinef, Orguss.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Klaxons, Architecture in Helsinki, The Skullening, Protest the Hero, the Winterkids”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Why is "watching anime" the first example listed beyond this question?”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“DragonCon”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Dungeons and Dragons.”

Other Online Gaming Info

“I have liftetime accounts to World of Warcraft and Everquest 2 but never play.”

Jaeger Assignment

Exploding Alex is currently piloting COMET ERECTION with Oshi

COMET ERECTION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Satisfaction Stomp
  • Divine Gauntlet

DOSSIER: Role is is to confuse Kaiju and supply tricky blowjobs to other Jaeger pilots. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Rainbow Freedom, a plan to use an unbelievable, truly astonishing doomsday device to ensure psoraisis. During the Battle Of Paris, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding alcohol tolerance. At times, homeless men have envied the pilots' choice of personal grooming habits. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a migrant worker. Father was a terrifying cyborg. Life didn't really change much when nipples were seduced by ninjas. It was at the age of 19 that he reached puberty. As time progressed, he mastered the art of babysitting. Each suprisingly filthy moment was a step closer to the kind of shit that his parents expected from him.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite excessive body odor because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane triumph despite killing everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

Deciding to get a clue, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and is basically doing alright.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at piloting giant robots if he hugged a puppy once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.

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