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Bonk

Buster Machine No. 5578
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About Bonk

Age: 109
Gender: F
Location: Riverside, 93507

Joined: 8 years ago on 02/22/06
Last Visit: 22 months ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Would You Hit It? Would Bonk?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“ k21 v”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“YTYgv V (C43T”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Bonk is currently piloting UNFETTERED CUPCAKE with soulbird

UNFETTERED CUPCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Flaming Head Chop
  • Dynamic Nipple Kick of Playfulness

DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting other Jaeger pilots by improving their defensive power. Cannot be damaged by fire-based attacks. Often, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' alcohol tolerance. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was a drug lord. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 19 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Gradually, she learned the secrets of baking. Each surpising day was a step toward the triumph that that her sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being addicted to blowjobs because of her immense determination.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of nerds. Due to her actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was incinerated.

Deciding to rest on her laurels, she dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"People need to understand, you can study the training videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the fucked-up situation at hand. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. Believe me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.

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