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Buster Machine No. 6391
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About rkm0001

Age: 44
Gender: M
Location: Arlington, TX

Joined: 13 years ago on 07/27/06
Last Visit: 58 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 357 days from now

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 4459 times
Would You Hit It? Would rkm0001?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I once killed a man just to watch him cry. When I sobered up, oh was my face red!”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Plotting against you... yes, you.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I draw pictures and I put them on a webpage.”

What's your dream job?

“If my job involved blood letting, I'd be where I need to be.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I'm a webcartoonist. Nothing I do is funny.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Preferrably the kind that isn't a person. Sponges and tree stumps - that's where it's all at, honey!”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“There are less painful forms of masochism.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“My interest in anime and mange ended when I stopped having money to blow on them... back in 1993.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Techno, old punk, older blues, the lamentations of my enemy's women.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I'm rather fond of starting bonfires to burn those devil tools.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Webcomic Rampage, Emerald City Comicon.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“My favorite game is, "How long can the life support be off without dire consequences?"”

Jaeger Assignment

rkm0001 is currently piloting SECRET NARWHAL with Isobel

SECRET NARWHAL's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Satisfaction Punch Spasm
  • Hundred-Bodyslam Seizure of Despair

DOSSIER: Job is is to annihilate Kaiju and supply ferocious tax advice to other Jaegers. We can safely say that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Derelict when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's puppies in order to save several terabytes of pornography. Sometimes, homeless men have wished that the pilots would improve their masturbation habits. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was a brillian scientist. Existence didn't really change much when friends were eaten by assassins. It was at the age of 23 that he had a sex change. Decided to spend the next several seconds training his guts out in a seriously shady gay bath house. Each surpising lesson was a step away from the sensitive touching that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Was accepted to Harvard despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of his immense determination. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a tiger with surprising sensuality, termed "Ferocious Elephant Style", he soon gained the erections of his master.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful thing that legends are made of despite killing a bunch of nerds. Thanks to his efforts, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Refusing to rest on his laurels, he dedicated himself to essentially being a huge pussy and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

So-called experts have described his combat aptitude style as "embarrassing bullshit", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "basically his new religion" and "some of the coolest Jaeger piloting since my dad invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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