Richard Wrinkletips is currently piloting AUDACIOUS PASSION with MissyJotastic
AUDACIOUS PASSION's special combat abilities are known to include:
Nimble Ear Suckerpunch
Breast-Mounted Blaster
DOSSIER: Job is is to disable Kaiju and supply helpful massages to friendly forces. In the past, the pilots' parents have heaped praise upon the pilots' dedication to partying. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may really bum you out every so often. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they aggressively fuck the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was a terrifying cyborg. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 19 that he swore revenge. Reluctantly spent the next several hours sleeping in a seriously shady youth hostel. Each sexual lesson was a step closer to the kind of shit that his heart yearned for.
Educated at M.I.T. where he studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a tiger with sensual speed, termed "Invincible Falcon Style", he soon gained the erections of commanders.
He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite killing the old lady down the block. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.
Following the heroic but sort of misguided battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Head Badass by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.
"Son, you, you can study the training videos all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the crazy situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, you're fucked. Trust me, this is one crazy asshole who will never have any clue about that."
Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.
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