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Put A Bird On It!

Buster Machine No. 7047
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About Put A Bird On It!

Age: 43
Gender: M
Location: Atlanta, GA

Joined: 15 years ago on 10/23/06
Last Visit: 2 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Would You Hit It? Would Put A Bird On It!?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm here for the food”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“I dont have fun ”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“School and Work. Sleeping too. sometimes”

What's your dream job?

“Getting paid for sleeping”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I dont do anything funny”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“People that do people things”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?


Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Akazukin Chacha, GTO”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?


What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I like baking, torturing my cat, and other interesting things”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Dragoncon, AWA”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, Pokemon, Megan Man”

Jaeger Assignment

Put A Bird On It! is currently piloting THUNDER AMAZON with Shirono

THUNDER AMAZON's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Breast-Mounted Hockey Stick of Nothingness
  • Ill-Advised Black Hole Generator

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply courageous tax advice to other Jaeger pilots, even during the mayhem of desperate combat. Certainly historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Erotic Derelict, during which most of Texas was destroyed in an effort to ...well, for no apparent reason, but it looked really cool. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and live to punch some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of popcorn and beatings. Existence didn't really change much when imaginary friends were eaten by ninjas. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each grueling day was a step toward being less of an asshole that that his sense of honor demanded.

Unlocked his inner unicorn at Oxford where he studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with erotic power, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of his master.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful failure despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. Due to his actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to drinking a lot and has been making some pretty good progress.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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