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Buster Machine No. 22260
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About GuyOnCouch

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Gwynedd Valley, PA

Joined: 11 years ago on 01/02/10
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

Public Photos

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Contact InformationContact information, such as a Member's e-mail and instant messenger information, can only be viewed by other Members! If you're already a Member, use the login form on the left side of the screen, or click here to log in. If you're not a Member yet, why not join us and be a part of the fun?
Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 2782 times
Would You Hit It? Would GuyOnCouch?

[current user isn't logged in]

Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“So I'm me. And Ask me about how my profile was created, the origin of the username, and why my birthday on here is so horribly off. I'm 21 btw.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“Attend conventions, party, rave, etc.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I deliver pizza and do community college.”

What's your dream job?

“Not really sure”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I own a D20 pimp cane, and I did the thing that got me this account (ask me about it)”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys or girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“If you're on here, you're certainly more than good enough for me.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They aight, I can do them.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Rosario+Vampire, Keroro Gunso, Naruto, Death Note, Psychopass, Ace Attorney”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Rock, Metal, Rap, Soundtracks, EDM, dubstep, chiptune,”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Haven't watched anime in a while but need uncommon recommendations. Haven't touched manga in a while tbh. Still gaming hard as ever. And I collect amiibo, my collection is only slightly less perfect than Nintendo New York's, and I'm okay with that.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“MagFest 8, 10, 11, 12, etc... Few years at Zenkaikon, but that's pretty much over. Too Many Games is a good one. I tried Otakon once...”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Faaaaaar too many. But LoZ, Kingdom Hearts, ”

Steam Nickname

“Phil Mateebag”

XBox Live! Gamertag


Other Online Gaming Info

“DotA 2 primarily. But also many others on occasion.”

Jaeger Assignment

GuyOnCouch is currently piloting SPECTACULAR KRAKEN with Dart-Chan

SPECTACULAR KRAKEN's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Amazing Head Strike
  • Thousand-Uppercut Orgy

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply much-needed massages to other Jaeger pilots, even during the frenzy of covert lovemaking. Certainly that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Derelict when the pilots sacrificed several thousand leading scientists in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. At times, the pilots' parents have envied the pilots' intensity. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of organic vegetables and comic books. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that he swore revenge. Decided to spend the next several years fighting for survival in a filthy robot repair shop. Each sexual yeast infection was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Truly blossomed at M.I.T. where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about him. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a seasoned expert with unbeatable passion, termed "Ferocious Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of his master.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite infuriating a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

Refusing to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

So-called experts have described his partying style as "second-rate bullshit", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "awesome" and "some of the most heroic stuff since Bruce Lee destroyed most of my hometown."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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