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Ali

Buster Machine No. 2480
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About Ali

Age: 29
Gender: F
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Joined: 10 years ago on 07/20/04
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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  • You've viewed their Profile 19837 times
Would You Hit It? Would Ali?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“She's got that whole uptight British librarian thing going, in the non-sexy way.”

What do you do for fun?

“I watch movies. Like, all the goddamn time.”

What's your dream job?

“Working at Pixar. (Though really, anything without an apron would probably be okay.)”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I'm afraid I'm totally humorless.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Guys!”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Spike Spiegel/Han Solo. Basically, if you're witty and have a jew-fro and your own spaceship, I'm yours.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“After listening to an old college roommate talk to her boyfriend... no. Very much no.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Cowboy Bebop, Gunbuster (old and new), Blade of the Immortal, all things Ghibli (Totoro and Spirited Away are favs there), Haruhi, Sakura Wars, Dragon Half, Magic User's Club... it goes on.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“I have no taste. I'll listen to anything.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I cosplay and suck at video games.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Most things in CA”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Strategy and puzzle stuff.”

Jaeger Assignment

Ali is currently piloting HOLLYWOOD CHEETAH with Dr. Taylor Lay

HOLLYWOOD CHEETAH's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Breast-Mounted Cutlass of Enlightenment
  • Joyfulness Tackle of Judgement

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to disable Kaiju and supply much-needed counseling services to other Jaeger pilots. Everybody agrees: these pilots are fun-loving and like nothing better than to fingerbang some Kaiju emotions.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by wolves in the peaceful swamps of Seattle. At an early age, showed great aptitude for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 19 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. As time progressed, she totally failed to unlock the secrets of babysitting. Each erotic lesson was a step away from the sensitive touching that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite a painful recurring prolapse because her mother forced her to. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a drunken sailor with senseless sensuality, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", she soon gained the praise of commanders.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane failure despite impregnating a bunch of nerds. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

In the aftermath of the grueling battle, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

"The thing is," says her best friend, "She'd be a lot better at something other than this if she took my dick out of her mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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