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Limp Bizkit - Results May Vary

I checked out the new Limp Bizkit album yesterday and I've been trying to find words to describe it ever since. I had dreams of writing the nastiest review I've ever written, full of sarcastic wit and funny insults. But, you know what? This album is simply not worth it.

I'm not necessarily a Limp Bizkit hater. While not exactly works of art, their first album or two were kind of fun- not exactly music you'd sit down and listen to on headphones, and nothing I'd ever listen to again, they were pretty good cartoon aggro pop rock.

This new album, however, is possibly the worst album I've ever heard in my life. They had a nationwide search for a guitar player for this? The guitar is pathetic and really puts the "Limp" in their band name. The riffs are non-existant and the guitar player is playing so non-energetically that I had to wonder if he had experienced massive blood loss or perhaps the death of a beloved pet before the recording sessions. Even if he was playing well it would hardly matter, because the guitars are mixed to sound like the amp is buried under blankets and are largely covered up by Fred Durst's poor excuse for vocals.

When he "raps", it's so bad that you wish he's start singing instead just because it couldn't get any worse. When he sings, it sounds so bad that you wish he'd start rapping again- and the cycle continues. I could go on and on about the sins of this album, from daring to sample Rakim to ruining a classic Who song, but I'll just stop here and tell everybody to stay away. The only possible reason to listen to this album would be morbid curiosity to see how bad it really is.

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