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A Treatise on the Geek Girl, for the Geek Boy , Part I

Duck makes overreaching, stereotypical statements about geek girls, geek boys and relationships.
Part I : Finding/Getting the Geek Girl.

1. Location Scouting.

Usually, it is a bit more difficult to root out the Geek Girl in the mundane world. Contrary to popular belief, libraries are bad places to pick up chicks. They're either borrowing girly romance smut novels to masturbate to, or researching for a huge project due the next day. Either way, they don't want to be bothered. Internet cafes can be good, but a true geek girl probably won't be spending much time on someone else's mediocre computer (as opposed to her hunk of burnin' silicon). Conventions are good, but everyone's smelly and dressed in cheap cotton knockoffs of their favourite characters. Comic book stores and the Radio Shack are good, but everyone�s hitting on the one geek girl that walks through - so go for it only if you like competition.

But here's a hint: there is this site called "Otaku Booty" that'll make your job a little easier.

2. Observe first.

Don't just walk up to that girl in the comic book store and start hitting on her. She's reading the latest Archie comic and has no idea who Hellboy is. And that hot chick you saw with the Sailormoon backpack? Butterfree is her favourite Pokemon. That�s the stupid butterfly thing. We all know that Squirtle is the one that kicks ass. He�s a turtle. There are many geek girls in disguise around, just as there are perfectly mundane women who may seem like geek girls, but are in fact total IMPOSTERS. I'm all for taking risks, really, but if you are in fact looking specifically for a GEEK girl, maintain some dignity and don't hit on the fake geek girls. The geek girls need to get more love without having it all wasted away by someone who merely wears glasses. Fake geek girls are like breast implants, except less squishy.

The same thing applies online. But just because she dresses like Sailor Moon doesn�t mean that she�ll do it in bed. Those wigs are too expensive to get semen on.

Oh yes, don't buy into the stereotypes! Geek girls are HAWT.

3. Don't lie.

Unless you really think that you can somehow fake that 8 inch penis when you meet(or if you actually have one, message me), or want to remain in a long distance relationship as long as possible - don't lie! I admit, that this is definitely focused towards the online "meetings", but it is only because it is always tempting to lie when you don't have to offer instant proof. I met someone online once, who quoted T.S Eliot to me. The English major in me was smitten. When we met, and I found out he was quoting "The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock" straight off Google, I was sad. Real sad. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Sure, she might not like you as much at first - but it is a lot better then her being extremely disappointed in you. The same applies to real life "findings" too, but I trust that we all know not to brag about our l33t FPS skillz when getting ass kicked in an internet cafe.

4. Work on those social skills.

We all know that we�re all incredible conversationalists online - but what about in real life? It sucks if you�re incredibly shy, but you've got to talk! I don't know how to help you with that, but there are lots of silly Dear Abby's out there that might. By the way, "What kind of anime do you enjoy watching?" is a good conversation starter. " you think Faye Valentine is hot?" is most definitely not. On a similar note, she doesn't need to hear you summarize every episode of your favourite anime. Really. And that deodorant thing. Shave, or trim, whatever makes you look neat. Acne medication is not the devil. Some women love scruffy men, but no one likes dirty men.

And smile. You are SO cute when you smile.

5. Charm her.

Woo her! Write her fan fic! Burn her copies of your OVA�s!

Oh man, the facetiousness of this article is getting too hard for me to handle.

Coming Soon - Part II � Keeping the Geek Girl (no, that was NOT sexual innuendo).

note 1: As all overreachingly conclusive articles must have a disclaimer, I will say that this is certainly not not a thorough examination of that strange breed of human generally known as The Geek Girl, but is certainly based on well noted experiences, observations, conversations, irritations, although not fornications with the aforementioned subject.

note 2: Okay, it's not really a treatise.

note 3: Dude, don't take me seriously. It�s totally tongue in cheek. Ew, stop thinking dirty.

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