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John Booty -VS- Dieter's Tea

I bought this tea in New York this weekend. Being a fatty, I needed something to wash the hambugers down with and "Dieter's Tea" sounded like a good idea.

I had a cup of this tea yesterday, and it was pretty weak. Today I decided to put two bags of this tea into my drink. At this point a certain madness began to grip me.

A voice from inside told me to put another tea bag into the boiling water. "Three bags is madness," I protested. "Surely this can not and should not be..."

There was no satiating this urge, this craving, this inner torment. "More," it urged me. Trembling, I placed the third and then a fourth teabag into the mug.

That was the beginning of a journey, the tale of which I now tell to you. I know not if I have done a just thing or a rash one. I may have blasphemed before the Creator himself; yet I do know one thing: this is a yarn I cannot keep to myself.

Read on, dear travellers...
 
Booty Vs. Tea - Here's the tea -
Here's the tea - "Dieter's Green Tea"
It smells kind of minty.
Booty Vs. Tea - The focus of the experiment - One extra large mug of tea, brewed with four teabags.
The focus of the experiment
One extra large mug of tea, brewed with four teabags.
Booty Vs. Tea - With trepidation, I begin to drink... - WAIT.  SOMETHING'S MISSING.
With trepidation, I begin to drink...
WAIT. SOMETHING'S MISSING.
Booty Vs. Tea - Okay, now I'm ready. - Konoha forehead protector is now in place.
Okay, now I'm ready.
Konoha forehead protector is now in place.
Booty Vs. Tea - With stealth, I test the tea to make sure it's drinkable. - We learn this in ninja school.
With stealth, I test the tea to make sure it's drinkable.
We learn this in ninja school.
Booty Vs. Tea - You can never be too careful. - One time I drank a urine sample when I was careless.
You can never be too careful.
One time I drank a urine sample when I was careless.
Booty Vs. Tea - I decide it's safe. -
I decide it's safe.
Booty Vs. Tea - In the name of science, I drink this concoction. - It really doesn't taste too bad.  I put honey in it.
In the name of science, I drink this concoction.
It really doesn't taste too bad. I put honey in it.
Booty Vs. Tea - AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY INSIDES -
AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY INSIDES
Booty Vs. Tea - Through a haze of pain and disorientation... - ...I finally read the label.
Through a haze of pain and disorientation...
...I finally read the label.
Booty Vs. Tea - SATAN IS LITERALLY FUCKING MY INSIDES - GAAAAAAAAH TIME TO POOP
SATAN IS LITERALLY FUCKING MY INSIDES
GAAAAAAAAH TIME TO POOP
Booty Vs. Tea - I poop. - Time passes.  A lot of time passes.  A lot of poop passes, too.
I poop.
Time passes. A lot of time passes. A lot of poop passes, too.
Booty Vs. Tea - Poop is the mind-killer - I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  When the poop is gone, there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.
Poop is the mind-killer
I will permit it to pass over me and through me. When the poop is gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Booty Vs. Tea - Strange visions begin to fill my mind. - More time passes.  I begin to lose hope.  The visions grow more intense...
Strange visions begin to fill my mind.
More time passes. I begin to lose hope. The visions grow more intense...
Booty Vs. Tea -
"You can't die yet, Booty"
"This task was entrusted to you"

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