OtakuBooty: John Booty -VS- Dieter's Tea

John Booty -VS- Dieter's Tea

Posted By
John Booty
12/22/2004

I bought this tea in New York this weekend. Being a fatty, I needed something to wash the hambugers down with and "Dieter's Tea" sounded like a good idea.

I had a cup of this tea yesterday, and it was pretty weak. Today I decided to put two bags of this tea into my drink. At this point a certain madness began to grip me.

A voice from inside told me to put another tea bag into the boiling water. "Three bags is madness," I protested. "Surely this can not and should not be..."

There was no satiating this urge, this craving, this inner torment. "More," it urged me. Trembling, I placed the third and then a fourth teabag into the mug.

That was the beginning of a journey, the tale of which I now tell to you. I know not if I have done a just thing or a rash one. I may have blasphemed before the Creator himself; yet I do know one thing: this is a yarn I cannot keep to myself.

Read on, dear travellers...

Here's the tea - "Dieter's Green Tea" It smells kind of minty.	The focus of the experiment One extra large mug of tea, brewed with four teabags.	With trepidation, I begin to drink... WAIT. SOMETHING'S MISSING.
Okay, now I'm ready. Konoha forehead protector is now in place.	With stealth, I test the tea to make sure it's drinkable. We learn this in ninja school.	You can never be too careful. One time I drank a urine sample when I was careless.
I decide it's safe.	In the name of science, I drink this concoction. It really doesn't taste too bad. I put honey in it.	AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY INSIDES
Through a haze of pain and disorientation... ...I finally read the label.	SATAN IS LITERALLY FUCKING MY INSIDES GAAAAAAAAH TIME TO POOP	I poop. Time passes. A lot of time passes. A lot of poop passes, too.
Poop is the mind-killer I will permit it to pass over me and through me. When the poop is gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.	Strange visions begin to fill my mind. More time passes. I begin to lose hope. The visions grow more intense...	"You can't die yet, Booty" "This task was entrusted to you"

John Booty -VS- Dieter's Tea

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