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Nevermind, We Hate Naruto Now

This is a rebuttal to our earlier article in which I sung the praises of Naruto just a few short days ago. Now that it's licensed we've totally flip-flopped our official position, of course. To hell with that show.
(This is a guest article written by OB member RonnyBojangles)

Who lives under a rock anymore?

Anyone who's been to a con in the past three years has run into that cosplayer. It wasn't a big deal at first, not knowing who someone was cosplaying. But what about that second con? And then the third?!

Apparently, dressing up like a little, blonde-haired boy is the latest trend at anime cons. I'd like to think of myself as a moderate aficionado of anime, but who am I kidding? I've never watched an episode of Dragonball Z. I don't know which anime series Rei is from. I don't even know how to pronounce "Rahxephon."

My main resource for anime information comes from my friends, the die-hard type that most of you are familiar with. These friends, as die-hard as they may be, share enough similar qualities with me to hold my interest. When they talk about recent series of anime that they're getting into, it tends to get me curious. Based on their comments I decide whether or not I should watch the show.

Naruto sucks. I learned this on my own after spending precious bandwidth to download the first five episodes. At the same time, I realized who it was that all these kids were cosplaying at conventions. Two and two goes together easy enough, but I still didn't get it.

Without going into specifics just yet, what is it that's so appealing about this show? Stopping what you're doing right now (which is probably reading this) and thinking about it for a few seconds would give you a clear answer: nothing. Naruto is absolutely no different than any other shonen series. There's a very powerful-yet-exclusive child who strives to fit in. He's really powerful and he has an enemy who's equally as powerful. They fight a lot. There is a love interest thrown into the mix somewhere.

Let me tell you now, I can't wait to watch the 115 episodes that I've missed. I also can't wait to alternately read the 247 issues (4693 pages) of manga that I've missed. I could skip to the last five episodes, but wouldn't that be cheating?

Answer: No, it wouldn't.

As a mediocre anime fan (the faux-aficionado that I am) I decided to skip to the last five episodes and see what was going on. I was really glad to know that Naruto was still healthy, and fighting a guy with bones that could shoot out of his skin like Ryu's fireball. It
made me wonder, if Naruto has lasted as long as he has is he really going to lose to the bone guy?

I don't need to watch any more episodes.

-RonnyBojangles, 2/15/2005
Naruto Hating - This girl took over after the dojo master got killed by the snake guy. -
This girl took over after the dojo master got killed by the snake guy.
Naruto Hating - Pedophile? Naww.... -
Pedophile? Naww....
Naruto Hating - A pervert who can see into the future. -
A pervert who can see into the future.
Naruto Hating - Spoiler: Sasuke dies. -
Spoiler: Sasuke dies.
Naruto Hating - Another pervert who writes books for the first pervert. -
Another pervert who writes books for the first pervert.
Naruto Hating - I have no idea who this is. He looks bad-ass. -
I have no idea who this is. He looks bad-ass.
Naruto Hating - Choujo, the fat character, has the ninja ability to get bigger. -
Choujo, the fat character, has the ninja ability to get bigger.
Naruto Hating - Naruto and the gang warp to another dimension. -
Naruto and the gang warp to another dimension.
 

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