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Where's my Chink? (MINI EDITION)

The Battle between Duck and the Hello Kitty Ramune Bottle
So, I had gone to a nearby japanese market in order to try out some chinky foods, and I do have an article coming all about that - but first, I want to declare my triumph over the Hello Kitty Ramune Bottle.


This is the Hello Kitty Ramune Bottle. It looks harmless, I know - maybe even CUTE.

But it's a ploy, I tell you. A ploy.


After following the directions given, the Hello Kitty Ramune Bottle remains unconquered. Something about a cap and a marble and pushing down. WTF?


I attempt to bend it to my will with a cute chopstick with bunny rabbits on it. Cute can overpower cute, right? Not right.


Next to the battle is the cellphone I did not drop in the toilet. It fails.


Followed by a sparkly paintbrush. It does not win.


Even a Leatherman could not do the job! The damn thing has an awl, scissors, a nail file, two different knife blades and four screwdrivers on it, and it can't open a Hello Kitty Ramune bottle???


I borrowed something from Edgar Allan Poe. It said "Nevermore...shall you open this Hello Kitty Ramune Bottle".

Finally, I gave up. I stared at the bottle for a while. Then I handed it to the boyfriend.


Hah. I loosened it for him anyway.


THE END.


P.S: The marble gets in the way whenever I try to drink out of it! I thought the Japanese were all about the collaboration of function and form. Sneaky little bastards.

P.P.S: Also, what in the world does one do with a marble stuck in a glass bottle? Besides, the drink tasted like carbonated water with some ass flavouring added to it. I feel that my progression to proper chinkiness has suffered quite a setback. I pray my future adventures are more conducive to my attainment of Ultimate Chink.

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