USC quarterback John Booty is wrecking shop in the Rose Bowl today, with 4 TDs and almost 400 yards passing. This is funny for a few reasons.

• The "John Booty" moniker was given to me in high school based on the name of football playin' John Booty
• My actual last name is Rose. For real.
• Most impressively, we had at least one OB member in the Rose Bowl parade this year, as part of the 501st Legion's brigade of Imperial stormtroopers and other Star Wars costumers.

Note To John David Booty Of The USC Trojans. While you are nationally famous, are probably sleeping with hotter women than I've ever been near, and will probably make a lot of money as a backup QB in the NFL once you're drafted, I'm still #3 on Google for "John Booty". I know it's partially because you usually goes by John David Booty and not just John Booty, but still. Life's small victories, man! Life's small victories.

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